Sanctified Imagination- The Key to Overcoming Panic Attacks

Hey friends, this has been written very raw, but it was too important for me not to share. Today, for the first time in almost 6 months I felt an overwhelming tightness in my chest and an inability to breathe that is consistent with a panic attack. Once upon a time, this was a weekly occurrence for me and use to cripple my ability to do almost anything. I remember having to send patients home from their appointments and run into the bathroom with a crushing tightness in my chest and my vision collapsing all around me. I would curl into a small ball on the bathroom floor with tears streaming down my face, desperately willing for the pain to pass. It’s hard to describe that feeling of helplessness but if you know I guess, you know.

Was it the pressure of my job? A little but as with most people I was fighting with great skeletons in my closet that liked to jab at me at the worst moments. At some point I will share more publicly about my healing journey from the trauma of sexual abuse, but we aren’t there yet.

So, when it happened again tonight, I felt compelled to share an important key in my story that brought so much healing in the hope that it would hopefully help someone else find personal breakthrough in this area. I want you to know that at the darkest moments of this fight, I was preaching, teaching, volunteering and sorta holding down a job. It helped keep me going but looking back I really wish I could go back and give myself some more grace. I would go back and tell myself it was okay to reach out for help, and if the people I reached out to were no good, to keep going because God had provided awesome people who would take it upon themselves to pick me up and carry me on their shoulders. I would tell myself to slow down, to stand and fight because I couldn’t outrun my demons. But most of all, I would tell myself it is going to be okay.

If you are dealing with severe anxiety, I want to say that I feel you. You are not alone, and I want you to know it gets better. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and I promise you it’s not always a train. I cheer for you, celebrate your courage, and want to tell you that you are an inspiration. We see you.

Now in the case of a panic attack, most experts will say breathe into your hands or into a bag slowly and deeply. This is awesome advice and I highly recommend it, but I want to share with you the gold nugget that has turned this well-known exercise into a powerful weapon against the enemy. It’s a little out there but I encourage everyone to do this daily anxious or not, it has absolutely changed my world. It requires your imagination and the willingness to do something a bit out of the ordinary but totally worth the awkwardness.

The Method…

During your quiet time or meditation with the Lord, quieten your mind and I want you to imagine Holy Spirit inside you. Not theologically, not ideologically but truly and as honestly as you can imaging His presence inside you. The Bible says that out of your belly shall flow rivers of living water (John 7:38), so I tend to put my hand of my belly and imagine a powerful river washing through the junk inside me. I quote scriptures like my body is not my own but that it is the temple of the Holy Ghost (1 Corinthians 6:19). Temples have entrances and exits and with this in mind, I ask that He release His peace through my mouth and nose exit.

As I breathe out- I picture myself breathing out the peace of God from deep inside me. I picture that peace building up like a cloud all around me as the stress and pain junk dissipates. As I breathe in, I picture myself breathing back in the peace of God and it washes through every part of my body.

Now the first time, I did this I have to be honest I could feel all the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, almost waiting for myself to be struck down for doing something very wrong. How could I imagine myself breathing out the presence of God? Especially because of how deeply broken I felt in the middle of that panic attack. As I breathed out all I could see was the brokenness and pain I felt so it was hard for me to see the wholeness of the Holy Spirit mixed in with that. I remember having to push past the pain and thoughts of hopelessness and into the truth of what God was speaking into my heart.

1 deep breath out- awkward fear that I was doing something very, very, very wrong, 2 breathe in the peace that God, 3 breathe out and the crippling fear and crushing pain in my chest was gone.

I was so shocked that I sat up and looked around for someone to tell. Jks… I live alone… lol… there was no one. So, I lay back down, closed my eyes and allowed myself to drift back into the peace of God that seemed to fill the room.

Now before you come for me, I did some study on this and I want to share some quick-fire points on why this should be an everyday routine for the believer, as well as some references for you to look up yourself:

1. Did you know Holy Spirit lives inside you? You may be feeling utter pain and that there is nothing good in you but that’s not true. The world says breathe out the stress and in the peace. But living inside you is far more than just the stress and pain you are currently feeling, God is there too. When we breathe out, it is His breath we are releasing, and it is flavoured with His very nature. That nature consists of love, joy and PEACE amongst other things. So, when you need peace, you don’t have to look outside yourself, just release what is already in you. (1 Corinthians 16-17, Galatians 5:22-23)

2. Jesus told his disciples, when you go to a house release your peace on it and if they are not worthy take it back?!!? Now for most Christians they read past that like a story or an instruction that doesn’t apply to them as modern-day disciples, so they never ask how?!? How do I give away peace? And even worse how do I take it back? This surely is something that needs practice like learning to throw and catch a ball. We must be able to recognise peace, give it away and according to Jesus take it back. If we can give it away to other people, we must have 24/7 access to this tangible reality. (Matthew 10:11-13)

3. The Bible says that greater is he who is within you than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4). Inside you lives world overcoming power. Taking a moment to acknowledge that will completely free you from an ashamed, victim mindset. Guilt says I have done something bad; shame says I am bad. Imagining God inside you at your lowest moments, breaks the hold of the shackles of shame. Now rather than just seeing the filth of humanity inside me, I also saw Holy Spirit inside me. Holy Spirit is unbelievably good and even if I am the most disgusting human on earth His mere presence in me gives me value. When I breathe out although I am releasing pain, I am also releasing the very essence of God from a reservoir of absolute good that lives inside me. If this is true then by definition I (from an identity perspective) cannot be bad, I am actually very, very good. (2 Corinthians 5:17-21)

4. Imagination is ability to see something that isn’t there. It’s an awesome gift that I encourage everyone to use far more. Worldly meditation says empty yourself and the absence of the noise will give you peace. Jesus is the Prince of Peace. Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of a person. So Biblical meditation is filling your mind with the Word. Purposely acknowledging Him in the midst of all trials. Remember Philippians 4:8-12? Paul gives you a list of things to actively think on and imagine. And THEN, as a result of your focused meditation the peace of God that passes all understanding won’t just show up, He will also set up a camp and place a guard to watch your heart and mind. Don’t empty your mind, it’s not that helpful. An old Father in my childhood church used to say ‘an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. (Philippians 4:8-12, Isaiah 60:17-18, Isaiah 26:3)

I love you all dearly.

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